All human beings are born winners. Due to their environment and upbringing, some end up being “trained” losers.
Winning is the goal of the self. The first law of nature is the preservation of the self.
The goal of personal adjustment is maintaining productive interpersonal relations. The self is the vehicle that is instrumental in the materialization of this goal. The well-adjusted self is a product of its psychological characteristics and how it interacts with its environment.
The self is the representation on one’s identity which is reflected by the unique qualities that differentiates one from others. The expression of the self is manifested in the psychological attributes that constitute the human energies. It is the sum total of the physical body parts, sensations, perceptions, thought processes, aspirations, memories, and consciousness.
The self-concept is the image and persona that the individual holds of himself. It is his perception of his personality, character, capacities, attributes, potentials, strengths, limits, and weaknesses. It has a significant influence on his drives and motivations.
The development of the self-concept is shaped by the environmental factors during early childhood. Parents, playmates, classmates, peers, and church members are the early influential entities affecting self-concept development.
Parents establish the concept of what is right and what is wrong through guidance and coaching. Behaviors that are considered right are rewarded by desirable responses such as a hug, verbal approval, and approving smile. Behaviors considered wrong are penalized through verbal rebuke, disapproving frown, or even physical punishment. Over time, the child perceives the distinction between socially approved actions and socially disapproved behaviors.
Playmates contribute to the socialization process. Accepting the individual to the group is rewarding while rejecting through withdrawal of group approval or support is punishing. The child learns to shape his behavior according to the demands of parents, peers, playmates, church members, and others.
The feedback given and the perceptions the child creates about his persona leads to the delineation of his self-concept. The accumulation of experiences, one’s perception of the world around him, and his exploits and escapades, contribute to the formation of the self-concept.
Under an atmosphere of achievement and approval, the child grows to develop a positive self-concept. On the other hand, constant disparagement, disapproval, disrespect, and feeling of failure contribute to the development of a negative self-concept. This becomes the stereotype of the loser.
Tags: Self
